Everyone hopes to have a flawless relationship with their true love, much like in fairytale movies. How difficult could it be? A couple is supposed to love and adore each other till death do them part, yet this is not always the case in most romantic partnerships.
It’s devastating to discover that your cherished partner is cheating on you with someone else at some point in your relationship.
If you suspect that your partner is being unfaithful to you, your instincts may be correct. But before you jump to conclusions and wrongly accuse your partner of cheating, you should look for clear signs that they are.
When a spouse cheats, it is not always your fault; therefore, if you learn that your partner is having an extramarital affair, do not act hastily. The best thing to do is pay attention and get solid proof that they are cheating before you talk to them about it.
That is the most efficient approach to catching a cheating partner red-handed, so they can’t dispute their guilt. If you’re not sure how your relationship is going, these are some of the most prevalent symptoms that your partner is cheating on you:
1. Your internal alarm has gone off.
Do you get the unmistakable feeling that something is wrong in your relationship?
You may have some doubts, but you’re trying to tell yourself that you’re becoming a little paranoid or that you’re insane to think your spouse is being unfaithful to you.
According to relationship specialists, “one of the first signals you’ll get when a spouse is cheating is a ringing bell in your head or an overwhelming gut sensation that something’s wrong.”
The truth is that you know your spouse better than anybody else, and if they start acting strange or deceptive around you, you’ll notice, especially if you’re close. If your internal alarm has gone off, this is one of the warning indications that your spouse is cheating, and your instincts may be correct. It’s definitely worth looking into!
2. They’re suddenly secretive about everything.
Someone who has something to hide is frequently quite secretive about their personal belongings. You may be able to tell if your spouse suddenly becomes overprotective of their phone, laptop, credit card details, bank statements, and other items that you previously had access to.
Did they change their password without informing you? Are they answering phone calls in another room? Do they bring their phone everywhere, including the toilet? Do they grab their phone as soon as they notice you approaching it?
This is a sure clue that they’re hiding something from you, and it may be a new romantic partner. Modern technology has made it quite easy to meet new people, speak online, and trade images from the comfort of your own home. This also makes cheating fairly simple.
One of the most common symptoms of a cheater is their secrecy, especially when it comes to their phone or laptop. If your spouse refuses to let you touch their phone, it suggests they have something damning on it that they don’t want you to view.
3. They’re spending a lot of time on their phone.
Most individuals are glued to their phones these days due to social media. Nevertheless, if your partner is spending less time with you and paying more attention to their phone, it’s possible that they’ve discovered something more interesting and addictive.
Has their phone usage changed? Do they appear to be constantly glued to their phones? When people spend a lot of time on their phones, there’s a good chance they’re talking to someone interesting on the other end who they can’t get enough of.
According to Dr. Tracey Phillips, a marriage counselor and therapist, keeping things from you on their mobile phone can be a symptom of infidelity. Keep an eye on your spouse’s body language while they’re using their phone to see whether they’re having an emotional affair.
Even if you don’t have access to your partner’s phone to check their call logs or text messages, you’ll be able to tell if they’re communicating with someone else via their phone.
How do they act while you’re getting ready to lie in bed with them? Do they stay up late, addicted to their phones, for up to an hour after you’ve fallen asleep?
Do they instinctively smile or beam broadly when using their phones without telling you what they’re laughing at? If they’re behaving abnormally for no apparent reason, it’s safe to think they’re chatting with their affair partner behind your back.
4. They’ve become obsessed with their appearance.
Do you recall how you tried your hardest to make each other look attractive in the early stages of dating?
Before committing to a more stable relationship, most couples in love partnerships go through the “attraction stage.”
Cheaters go through this as well because having something new is exciting and you can’t wait to try it every day. A rapid change in appearance is one of the most obvious symptoms of dishonesty.
Of course, some people buy new clothes or shoes for no apparent reason because they desperately need to alter their wardrobe, but it’s more noticeable when you suspect infidelity. The best way to tell if your spouse is cheating is to observe his or her actions.
Did they acquire a new haircut, new pants, or new clothes without telling you? Are they going to the gym more frequently than usual? If your partner didn’t care about their appearance before, a sudden change in appearance could be a symptom of infidelity.
If your partner is suddenly obsessed with how they look, this could be a sign that they are cheating on you. This new interest in how they look shows that they are trying to impress a new romantic interest, which is what most people do when they start a new relationship.
5. They’re staying away from home for long periods of time.
Does it seem like your husband is always going somewhere other than home? Are they on frequent work trips that require them to be away from home? Are they always stopped in traffic on their way to work, even though you know their route is not very congested?
A cheating partner will frequently be absent from home for extended periods of time and may even miss critical family events because they are having fun with someone else. And they’ll always have a long list of ridiculous excuses for their extended absence, such as an unexpected thunderstorm, a dead car battery, flat tires, or extra working hours at the workplace.
If your partner’s job, which used to take up little of their time, now keeps them away on weekends or overnight trips, this could be a sign that they are cheating on you.
Most cheaters like spending regular quality time with their lovers, which can lead to a pattern of poor conduct in which they rarely remain at home to bond with you or the kids.
Your partner should be able to explain their frequent absences and abrupt changes in routine to you. If they can’t explain why they seem to be gone from home all the time, it’s solid evidence of adultery.
6. They avoid getting intimate with you.
Despite the fact that most cheating spouses want more from their new relationship than just sexual intimacy, this is a common theme for them. As their relationship evolves, it will shift from emotional closeness to physical intimacy.
Is your spouse abruptly avoiding any contact with you? Do they refuse to passionately kiss you, snuggle with you in bed, or touch you as they used to? If you’re not making as much love as you used to and have tried everything to improve your private life, but your partner never seems to be in the mood, this is one of the most prevalent indicators of a cheating spouse.
Cheaters often have less intercourse with their spouse because they’re already getting their satisfaction elsewhere, according to a clinical psychologist. If your partner avoids being intimate with you in any way and you know they’re not sick, there’s a good chance they’re getting it from someone else.
Most couples face a loss of intimacy from time to time due to illness, overwork, psychological concerns, or medical conditions, but it is not as severe as when one partner cheats. When you have an unfaithful partner, they will cease considering you as the center of their universe and instead treat you as a roommate with whom they are living.
7. You’ve contracted an STD from nowhere.
Getting an STD when you only have one faithful intimate partner can only mean one thing: your spouse is cheating on you with someone else. There is no other way to contract a STI unless you have sexual contact with someone who is infected.
Even if you weren’t already convinced that your partner was unfaithful to you, having an STD while you’re not the one cheating suggests your spouse is, and you need to talk about it. Your spouse’s behavior is placing you in danger, and you should not tolerate it.
If you have a sexually transmitted infection, it’s clear that your partner is sleeping with someone else without protection and putting your health at risk to hide their affair.
8. They’ve stopped trying to connect with you emotionally.
Emotional connection is essential in developing a healthy and happy relationship. One indicator of infidelity is a lack of emotional closeness, which frequently manifests as a lack of enthusiasm for doing activities as a couple or no interest at all.
Have you noticed that your partner has recently become cold or distant? When your lover quits attempting to emotionally connect with you, they will no longer do romantic things for you. They’ll stop sending you lovely messages during the day and instead leave love notes around the house, buy you flowers, and give you soothing massages before bed.
If your partner isn’t paying attention to you anymore, even after you’ve talked to them about it several times, it’s possible that they’re pouring their energies into another intimate relationship that means a lot to them.
This is a bad sign, and it indicates adultery. Sudden changes in your spouse’s usual schedule might be an indication of an extramarital affair, especially if those changes influence the quality time you both spend together as a couple.
9. They’re weirdly interested in your whereabouts.
Is your husband suddenly watching you at all hours of the day? This new habit might seem like a sign of love, but it’s actually one of the first signs that someone is sorry for cheating.
Infidelity perpetrators will go to considerable efforts to avoid drawing your attention, which means they need to know where you are right now so they can better conceal their traces. Of course, bumping into them with their new partner while having lunch at your favorite restaurant would be extremely unpleasant and awkward.
So, to keep from getting caught in the act, they have to keep track of where you are.
According to Dr. Tracey Phillips, when your partner calls you more frequently than usual, it may not be as lovely as it sounds. “What they’re actually doing is verifying your location to make sure you’re not somewhere they can be caught.”
10. They seem indifferent or aloof about a lot of things.
When it comes to romantic relationships, you can expect them to have ebbs and flows because passion fades. Every couple goes through difficult times, but if yours has come out of nowhere… or if it has seemed to be going on for a while, you may be right to suspect that your spouse is distracted with something else.
Another sign that your partner is cheating on you is if they stop advising you to stop doing things that used to irritate them. If your annoying habits of leaving dirty clothes in the hallway, making loud noises while you eat, and leaving dirty dishes in the sink don’t bother them anymore…
It could be because they’ve lost interest in the relationship or because they’re preoccupied with something more interesting now, according to family therapist David Klow. When this happens, they’ll stop making a big deal about a lot of things because they no longer need you to change your bad habits.
11. Unusual expenses are showing up on their credit card.
While adultery may be difficult to detect if you have separate bank accounts, it’s still a good idea to pay attention to anything suspicious about your partner’s finances. Keep an eye out for transactions made at flower shops, restaurants, motels, or jewelry stores.
If you see huge withdrawals from your joint accounts or strange expenditures on your spouse’s credit card for new clothes, hotel rooms, flight tickets, or other fancy stuff, it’s a solid sign they’re cheating on you.
Make sure there is no impending birthday or anniversary on your calendar that they are planning for so that you don’t ruin the surprise. Keeping a close eye on your spouse can help you find out if they are spending a lot of money to impress someone else or if they are getting expensive gifts from their new partner.
If you find new things in your partner’s closet that you didn’t buy for them and didn’t know about before, this is a sign of cheating, especially if you knew about their other purchases.
12. Their friends are acting weird around you.
Another technique to tell if your spouse is cheating on you is to study the behavior of some of their close friends. Normally, the person being cheated on is the last to find out because everyone is trying to mind their own business and not interfere in your relationship.
Also, they want to be good friends to both of you by not being the reason your relationship is falling apart, so they stay quiet and watch the drama.
Most of the time, a spouse’s friends know about the affair from the start. Because they are keeping such a big secret from each other, they will start acting strange around you or treating you differently than before.
Are they chatting behind your back, behaving too politely, or suddenly giving you odd looks? There’s obviously something going on that they don’t want you to know about, and it’s most likely a private affair behind your back. You can’t blame them; if you were in their position, you wouldn’t want to spill the beans either.
13. They accuse you of being a terrible spouse.
When you talk to them about problems in your relationship, they always find a way to say that you’re not a good partner. This is one of the most subtle indicators of a cheating spouse.
If they say things like “You never make time for intimacy” or “You always make me feel like I don’t exist,” you can tell your spouse is trying to hide their own shame and flaws. The truth is that an unfaithful spouse will try to shift the blame for their infidelity onto you.
If your partner accuses you of cheating, not being emotionally or physically available, or not being adventurous enough in the bedroom, they may be trying to put the blame on you for their own wrongdoing. Keep an eye out for those occasions when they pick a fight simply to storm out of the house and cool off in someone else’s arms. Cheaters frequently do this, especially when they believe you are aware that they are cheating on you.
14. They’re behaving really hostilely towards you.
Cheaters often try to justify their actions by saying that any problems in your relationship are your fault. They do this to hide their guilt and feel better about their risky behavior.
They might convince themselves that it’s okay to cheat on you because you’re no longer interesting or attractive in the bedroom. Yet, justification frequently results in rage, hatred, and antagonism towards you.
Cheaters are naturally more focused on the positive elements of their new spouse. This may give the impression that you are not meeting up on the newly designed balance scale.
If your partner suddenly disapproves of your appearance and behavior, or if they are excessively critical of everything you do for them, they are most likely comparing you to someone else in their life.